Well, after having my annually roller coaster emotional break out yesterday, I would calm down today. Was last night firework beautiful? I didn't get the chance to see, only watched them from TV today.
The apartment is in its stillness, as always on the first day of every year. Where are my daughters? They are always somewhere else on the 1st of January because they had celebrated their New Year Eve with their good friends.
I don't have any special wow feeling about today. 1st of January is never something special to me. It's just another ordinary day for me and I am grateful that I could have wake up today at late afternoon and just in time to see the sun shone through the shutters before it went back to sleep.
I got no special New Year Eve leftover food or desserts to eat for branch cause I didn't cook and make one cause there were not needed yesterday. I did have a slice of leftover kebab pizza from two days ago. It's good for branch anyway.
Making any promises or any plan for this year? I am not going to do that any more. What comes around goes around. I will take one day at a time. Why hurry? I am free now after all.
The girls kind of gradually alienate me nowadays and I am trying hard to tell myself not to have hard feeling over this. I know it's hard for them to have a mum who is young and naive, whom they think it's not knowable and good enough in giving them any advice any more. They didn't call and wish me and their father Happy New Year.
What am I going to do this year? Don't know really.. I have far too many things wondering in my head right now. So, I am just going to calm down my mind after last night's break out.
I will be fine. I know because I dare to talk it out loud now and deal with it, and drop it fast too. First step in this first day of the year.
The apartment is in its stillness, as always on the first day of every year. Where are my daughters? They are always somewhere else on the 1st of January because they had celebrated their New Year Eve with their good friends.
I don't have any special wow feeling about today. 1st of January is never something special to me. It's just another ordinary day for me and I am grateful that I could have wake up today at late afternoon and just in time to see the sun shone through the shutters before it went back to sleep.
I got no special New Year Eve leftover food or desserts to eat for branch cause I didn't cook and make one cause there were not needed yesterday. I did have a slice of leftover kebab pizza from two days ago. It's good for branch anyway.
Making any promises or any plan for this year? I am not going to do that any more. What comes around goes around. I will take one day at a time. Why hurry? I am free now after all.
The girls kind of gradually alienate me nowadays and I am trying hard to tell myself not to have hard feeling over this. I know it's hard for them to have a mum who is young and naive, whom they think it's not knowable and good enough in giving them any advice any more. They didn't call and wish me and their father Happy New Year.
What am I going to do this year? Don't know really.. I have far too many things wondering in my head right now. So, I am just going to calm down my mind after last night's break out.
I will be fine. I know because I dare to talk it out loud now and deal with it, and drop it fast too. First step in this first day of the year.
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