2013年11月12日星期二

To Julie and Mabel

First thing I did when I woke up in the morning, I ran to the sink in the bathroom  like a superwoman because the acidity which bubbled in my chest was on its way to come up to my larynx, and whoever was standing on my way better open up a V.I.P.way for my big entrance to the bathroom.  I would vomit like my heart was coming out from my month, but then would actually feel better afterwards because I had get rid of  the nausea for the time being.

As time went by, while lying on the sofa, sometimes I would cried over my swollen feet and at the same time kept touching the skin on stomach was getting more and more stretch marks. I could feel the skin on the stomach tore apart day after day. (So regretful I didn't take my sister in law, Marie's advice to buy the super expensive lotion for the stomach to prevent the stretch marks).

I would drive my husband insane because I was craving for my mother's food in the middle of the night. My master chef would try to comfort me by offering to cook any of his best dishes as long as I was happy but he didn't understand what I wanted WAS FOOD THAT TASTED LIKE MY MOM'S FOOD!

Sleepless nights and breathless was normal as the stomach was getting bigger and bigger. Hubby had to sleep on the floor in order to give place to the master of the bed, otherwise he would have the same symptoms too. (Not that big ball on his stomach though, if you don't see his middle-age stomach as a ball).

The mood swinging I had was a nightmare to hubby through out that nine whole months, but I guess by listening to my horrifying screams of the excruciating pain, while he was trying to help out by encouraging me with the well-known, classical, affective word, "PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!", would count as a torture for him. My respond was," I WANT TO GO HOME NOW, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANY MORE!" I could hear him through my loud screaming, "Errrr....Sorry there is no return ticket for this.."

Hubby lost his energy at the end, and HE was THE ONE who almost needed the nitrous oxygen because he almost fainted while I was squeezing his shoulders sooooo tight until I almost chocked him to unconsciousness.

Well, I might update this post again when I remember some more stuff. At this moment, in brief, that was how you girls came to this world, oh of course don't forget to count the 38 hours (Julie) and 6 hours (Mabel) labour pain, plus the extra 26kgs (12+14) weight-gaining.

If I could turn back time, would I do this again? The answer is a definite YES. ^-^

P.S. Positive experiences might be on the future posts ^-^

2013年11月6日星期三

Mom's love

Julie shared the following short text on my Facebook today, which had given me a deep thought about my mother and being a mother myself.

"Your Mother carried you inside of her womb for nine whole months, she felt sick for months with nausea, then she watched her feet swell and her skin stretch and tear. She struggled to climb stairs, she got breathless quickly and even a simple task like putting her shoes on was a huge struggle for her. She suffered many sleepless nights while you kicked and squirmed inside of her and while you demanded that she scoffed junk at am  she then went through EXCRUCIATING PAIN to bring you into this world. She became your nurse, your chef, your maid, your chauffeur, your biggest fan, your teacher, your agony aunt and your best friend. She's struggled for you, cried over you, fought for you, put herself second for you, hoped the best for you and has driven herself insane with worry for you but never has she asked for anything in return because she loves you and did it all on love alone! Most of us take our Mums for granted but there are people who have lost or have never even seen theirs. If you have a loving Mother who did all of this for you, you are very lucky, never devalue her worth because one day, you'll wish you hadn't!"

My mother never told me if she had experienced all that pregnancy symptoms before but I remembered she told me a secret six months before she passed away, a secret I was wondering for long time. She was pregnant when she was 28 years old but had a miscarriage. It was a critical condition and  sadly the doctor had to remove her whole uterine. I guess back then in the 60's the medical technology was not that advance as today. Then later on in 1969 I came into her life, through adoption.

Even though mom didn't have to go through excruciating pain to bring me into this world (which my biological mom definitely did, more about her story in another time), surely my mom had yell at me over thousands times until her larynx was in pain while bringing me up (when I didn't obey her or naughty, my fault). Other than the yelling  my mom was definitely a meticulous nurse who took really good care of me (I was underweight, sick and as tiny as a little monkey baby, no kidding, she said that, confirmed by my siblings - another story next time) from the day she brought me home until the day (at age 8) I could actually cut off the frequent visits to this Chinese doctor, who gave me the thick, black, smelly Chinese herbs medicine. I hated that medicine so much but mom kind of force me to take it by pursuing with candies and threatening with rattan. Well, I guess that medicine did had its magical substances. Look how chubby I have become.


No doubt my mom was my chef. She had some good touch in a few dishes which my girls loved them too. Unfortunately mom never really teach me how to cook because she always thought I was in her way when she was cooking. So, I didn't get to learn much from her. I did manage to ask her for a few receipts in those last few months when we spent hours lying side by side on her bed while she was recalling and talking about her past. 


Was my mum my maid too? Hmm... not 100% because we always had an hourly-paid maid at home. Actually mom didn't need to do much herself but she made sure the maid would have washed the clothes and tidy up the house her way. I was not spoiled by having a maid though. I remember mom always wanted me to wash my own school shoes and policed it white. My Indian maid who loved me, was kind enough to secretly wash up my shoes every Saturday before I woke up (I always waited for the afternoon sun to wake me up). Although mom would scold the maid and I when she found out, but that was totally worth it, but I felt sorry for my maid. Oh, don't get me worry, my mom was very very kind to every maid we had hired. (Me too :))


Since my mom didn't know how to drive, she was never my chauffeur. I don't know if mom was my biggest fan though, but she loved listening to me singing those Chinese oldies songs, and she kept listening to my karaoke recording cassettes which I sent to her from Sweden (my cousin told me she did that when she missed me), so I guess my mom was my secret fan after all.


My mom taught me how to be a ladylike (I am still learning how to be one), taught me to be kind to people, taught be to be generous, charitable, polite. Even though mom was not pedagogic in teaching me any of the school subjects, she was an educative teacher in many ways, practically and spiritually. 


I guess the generation gap was quite wide between my mom and I, so we was never really good buddy in that sense. However, to compare with many of my friends' mother, my mom was a modern mom who allowed me to wear mini-skirts; allowed me to bring home boys and go out with boys when I was 15 years old. I had my teenage freedom until I chose my destiny. She was never putting her nose in my relations. ( Although sometimes I wished she had). We could talk about boys stuff and she could make comments on my boyfriends, and even gave each one of them a nickname.


Yes, my mother struggled for me because I decided to stay far away from her. She cried over me when I was sick and when I left her to Sweden. She put herself second for me for not telling me how much she wanted me to move back to Malaysia because she was hoping the best for me to have a good life in Sweden. I had driven her insane with worry when I disobeyed her; when I talked back; when I forgot/too busy to call her for a week or two. My mom loved me so so very much, more than I ever knew.


I took my mom for granted, as most of us do unconsciously. I was and I am regretful. Today I sincerely hope that you are not doing that to your mom if you have a loving mother who is still doing all these for you. You are lucky because you still have your mother around you! Even though she was not as loving as you want her to be; even though she is annoying; even though she is kind of eating your brain when she talks to you; even though she is not as perfect as your friend's mother, she is still your mother.  Love your mom the way she loves you, unselfishly.



2013年10月22日星期二

震撼的魅力

今年的秋天太美了,让我忍不住一定要放上这些展现她的魅力的照片!去年我错过了初秋,今年拍到的景色填补了去年灰白的空缺。

朋友在我面子书上给我的照片留下的评语,应该够言证了今年美得冒泡的秋天。

景丽写:  好轰轰烈烈的秋,美呆了!昌铭写 : 就快受不了你这些照片的勾引----


老实讲我也是被今年的秋色弄得神魂颠倒。

我只是遗憾没有一个专业的相机可以捕捉到她更美艳的魅力。

还好新法五年前帮我弄好的小小的数码Canon到现在还是一样能发挥它一定的功能,谢谢你,

新法!


我实在找不到词汇来形容这金华灿烂的景色,就让这些照片告诉你好了。

橙黄金色的叶子

有些树早已开始光秃秃了。


变色之间

落叶把街道变成一幅画




我家附近的树


Add caption


我的最爱之一

很特别的树



最爱之一




我家后面的街道












2013年10月1日星期二

Autumn mood 秋天的心情

秋天的心情可以跟着天气,气候,和大自然的颜色不断地改变。。

所以我喜欢秋天。

秋天可以自己的喜怒哀愁自由放恣!

秋天可以让自己随着天气的脾气一起开心一起闹别扭。

像今夜的心情犯愁了,我毅然放下令我伤脑筋头痛的功课,

只想听听一些让我怀念的秋歌。

Barbra Streisand - Autumn Leaves (click on the the name of the song to listen)

The falling leaves drift by the window 

The autumn leaves of red and gold

I see your lips, the summer kisses 

The sun-burned hands I used to hold 

Since you went away the days grow long 

And soon I'll hear old winter's song 

But I miss you most of all my darling 

When autumn leaves start to fall 

Autumn Leaves (Ed Sheeran) (click on the the name of the song to listen)

Another day another life
Passes by just like mine
It's not complicated
Another mind
Another soul
Another body to grow old
It's not complicated
Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And your miles away 
And yesterday you were here with me
Another tear
Another cry
Another place for us to die
Its not complicated

Another life that's gone to waste 
Another light lost from your face
It's complicated
Is it only wonder or do birds still sing for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And your miles away 
And yesterday you were here with me
Ooh how I miss you
My symphony places the song that carries you out
Ooh how I miss you
I miss you and I wish you'd stay 
Is it any wonder that the stars shine out for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And your miles away 
And yesterday you were here with me
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And your miles away 
And yesterday you were here with me
Ooh oh, ooh oh
Ooh oh, ooh oh
Touch down 
Like a seven four seven 
Stay out and we'll live forever now



劉文正 - 秋蟬 (click on the the name of the song to listen)


聽我把春水叫寒 看我把綠葉催黃

誰道秋下一心愁 煙波林野意幽幽



花落紅 花落紅 紅了楓 紅了楓
展翅任翔雙羽燕 我這薄衣過得殘冬



總歸是秋天 總歸是秋天
春走了 夏也去 秋意濃
秋去冬來美景不再
莫教好春逝匆匆 
莫教好春逝匆匆



2013年9月28日星期六

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET 46!

Today is the day my mother turns 46. No one ever believes that she is because of her 

young heart and lack of wrinkles in her face. But those aren't the only reasons that make 

her young. It is the people in her life who love her. We are the ones who help keep her 

strong and willful and remind her to be awesome.

So I want to wish my mom a very happy birthday and I hope you reading this too! I love 

you mom! ♥♥

Last night at work Mabel asked me what do I want for my birthday present?
None of any materialistic present could be better and more precious than the above quote Mabel wrote on her Facebook! She really has helped me to phrase what I would like to say to the people who love me and help keep me strong and willful! Thank you my daughters, my cousins, my friends for being the rare and amazing people in my life!

Every year on this day, I will miss my parents the most. I miss my biological parents whom brought me to this world but never gave me the chance to get to know them. I miss my adoptive parents who brought me up with lots of love and cares. I miss all the birthday parties my mother planned and held for me when I was a little girl. I miss all the delicious food she prepared and cooked for the parties, and I miss guests who came and enjoyed themselves with joy and satisfactory.

Wishing myself:  Happy Birthday and stay strong for at least another 35 years so that my kids don't have to worry and take too much care of me when I am getting older. The best present I can give my girls is trying to stay healthy, happy and young ^-^ right?

Wishing you all have a great day too! As long as you are happy and appreciate what you have in life and be grateful, everyday can be/is your birthday!

2013年9月20日星期五

转眼又是中秋了

今夜的月色让我不禁思乡了。

或许我该说是因为那精装的红到刺眼的, 和那突破传统的,配合着柔柔的浅白蓝色的两盒月饼 (要谢谢我的妯娌Marie和她老公的礼物)。。。



是因为亲朋戚友在面子书上的祝语和来自家乡的WeChat和Whatspp的祝福。。。

是因为昨夜,一位刚认识不久,住在哥德堡的马来西亚朋友给我的惊喜(她在电话的另一边为我弹了许美静的城里的月光)。。。

这一切的一切,都让我今天整个上午无法集中精神上课。脑海中看到的,是去年我在马来西亚过中秋时的热闹的情景,缅怀的是去年中秋的月光会上,和Sunny,还有丽莎和她女儿一起提灯笼时按捺不住的喜悦和兴奋!

虽然今晚的月亮特别圆,却圆不了我思乡的心,虽然桌上的月饼特别甜,却甜不到我寂寞的心。虽然我的灯笼微照着我的客厅,却照不亮我的心。





可是我还是感恩:
今晚有机会欣赏月光,有月饼吃,有人想念我,就像我想念他们一样。。不管你们身在何处,祝福你们,也祝福我。。。

中秋节快乐!



每颗心上某一个地方  总有个记忆挥不散   
每个深夜某一个地方   总有着最深的思量
世间万千的变幻  爱把有情的人分两端  
心若知道灵犀的方向  那怕不能够朝夕相伴
城里的月光把梦照亮  请温暖他心房  
看透了人间聚散  能不能多点快乐片段
城里的月光把梦照亮  请守护它身旁  
若有一天能重逢  让幸福撒满整个夜晚

2013年9月5日星期四

A Great September day

What a beautiful morning to start a school day at 8 a.m. Passed by Liseberg and saw the sun opened up the sky to shine on The Liseberg Wheels.
After school I had this thought. Instead of going home, I took a bus to Fiskebäck. A place I cannot afford to stay nearby but I can enjoy the view and the quietness. It was cloudy at the wharf but the temperature was around 17c, not that bad.
I was enjoying the pasta salad with prawns with this great view..what more could I ask for?
One of the luxury yacht at the wharf. The owner put an adorable owl sitting on the top of it. I had that moment at the first sign..thought it was real!
One of the homework - reading Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eyes. I couldn't stop myself to open pages after pages later after reading the first paragraph.

There was this moment I stopped and took a deep breathe in order to feel the words in the book. I looked up and saw this again. The sky slightly opened up the clouds and shone on the sea. Like the words in the book opened up my heart.

Just when everyone thought that summer was over because it was raining heavily last week, the weather forecast cheered everyone up since Monday. Let's hope that summer's last grep to hold onto the sun is strong enough to get us through this week and perhaps stay for another week or two. 

2013年8月22日星期四

Happy Birthday Clause Debussy

I always wish I could play piano. My parents couldn't afford to send me piano classes when I was a little girl. I always admire people who know how to turn a piano alive.

Yesterday was Clause Debussy's 151 years old birthday. I came home from work at 2 a.m. After 3 hours of karaoke with heavy rock songs, the tinnitus started to bug me in my ears! Debussy's music always calm me down...

Debussy plays Debussy: "Reflets dans l'eau"

CLAUDE DEBUSSY: CLAIR DE LUNE


Debussy: Arabesque I (1888)


Hope his music can help to relax your stressful mind..... Have a great day!

2013年8月20日星期二

WOK & OVEN - soul therapy tools

I am not very good in sharing recipe actually. I always admire those food bloggers who have patience and talent. How do they manage to cook, bake at the same time take photos? How much time do they put into their blog? It really takes such en big effort to do and maintain it! I am only good in sharing photos on Facebook (fastest way to show off....hehehe) . Recently I have friends complained about this. Stop posting all food photos on Facebook, you make people slobbering, they said. Hmm... is it a complement or a complain?

I am not promising anything about this though because I do have other friends who like to see them. I will still post up my food photos according to that day's mood.

Last night after spending three hours with baking, at the same time taking photos during the process, I found it so tiring but FUN! The best part was, my baking turned up well and tasted good too! This really gave me the confidence to have a crazy idea... why not start writing another blog, just about my cooking and baking, for fun and sharing? 

Well, I don't have the best system camera to take perfect and beautiful photos like you read on the food magazine, or like those professional food bloggers. I don't have nice plates to put up my presentation. I don't know how to make the layout of my blog look inviting. What I have is my PASSION and TOUCH for food, do you think this is enough? 

The following photos here have been taken at different (trust me I have many more and you don't want me to put them up here all at the same time). I will try to write them in detail into this new blog later.

So, here is my new blog www.woknoven.blogspot.se.  The first recipe revealed what I had been up to late at night in the kitchen yesterday. :)

Ku Chai kuih with homemade chili sauce
Quick lunch - Salad with grilled salmon
Rhubarb cake
Supper - Noodle with chicken
Swedish breakfast with my tomatoes from my balcony
Last night's rhubarb muffins
Last night's almond cake with lemon & raisin