November - December

November - December  is a period where my mood is on a roller coaster. I can blame the dull weather, the flu, the stress, hubby's rudeness or sleepless nights that switch on the"start" button of the roller coaster machine.

In the matter of fact, non of the above mentioned reason was the right one to be blamed on. I have to admit the mood swinging is because I miss my father and mother very much. They passed away in between these two months.

That's why I have started collecting positive energies as much as possible to fill my mood with the right element - HAPPINESS, so that I would not drown in mood ripples.

I started with a good mind exercise last week - Think about something or someone that make me really happy everyday. It works amazingly well which bring me into a zen zone with peaceful mind and happy soul.

Thanks to my parents who has brought me up with love.
They gave me freedom to make my decision to choose my own path.
I thank them for not stopping me to come to Sweden even though deep down in their hearts, I knew they didn't want to let me go 26 years ago.
Dad never made any commend about me moving to Sweden.
Mom said "You have chosen your own path and happiness, we don't want to be the one who come in between your decision. You have to take the consequence yourself when things do not go well, but you have our love and blessing."

I wish they had visited Sweden to understand why I have chosen to stay here for good.

Yesterday I visited Önnered nearby my area. Just wanted to be charged with some positive energy from the nature and of course chasing after the sunset at the same time. Although it was 3c but I couldn't feel the chill. I felt warm from head to toes. I found a spiritual balance when I stood in front of the views. Speechless.. breathless.. I was hoping my parents spiritually followed me there yesterday to enjoy the amazing moment with me. I was very happy yesterday....and today too!

Gratefulness

A friend shared this on her Facebook that touched my heart deeply. My inner light has been rekindled of so many good people for the past 47 years, deepest gratefulness to these people:

my adoptive parents, my children, my husband, my relatives, my friends, my supportive guests and fans..and people I meet daily who have been very kind to me every day. <3 br="">

史懷哲（Albert Schweitzer）

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.

"有時候，我們的光會熄滅，但是在遇上某個人後，就會再次點燃，生出火焰。我們要深深感謝那些重新點燃我們內在之光的人。"

Acupuncture

I have been to several times of acupuncture treatments since October. Today was the eighth time and it was my first tinnitus treatment. My physiotherapist asked me how long time has tinnitus been bothering me. At least 10 years I answered. He told me it will take longer time and many times of acupuncture treatment. I told him bring it on. I am not scared of the pain as long as the treatments help to heal me. I am really for the long journey.

I went to the Otolaryngology in 2008, seeking for help and answer. After I had filled out a questionnaire with 30 questions about how I felt physically and then did some hearing tests, they diagnosed that I had deep depression symptoms and wrote me a few antidepressant prescriptions. I asked them was there any treatment than just taking medicine, They told me no other treatment and even make a joke of encouraging me to maybe consider change my job and move to a quiet environment.

Did I take the medicine? I am very proud of myself to say it out loud here: " NO I have never taken out any medicine from those prescriptions." I deal with the problem through out these years in my own ways - yoga, dancing, photographing, singing. Do these methods help to heal my tinnitus? No, they don't. The buzzing sound accompany me 24-7 at different volume level. Sometimes it's really too loud until I wake up in the middle of the night.

I found out three weeks ago my physiotherapist also knows how to treat tinnitus with acupuncture so I asked him to start the mission of killing the "buzzing bees" that is "flying" inside my ears today.

It was total worth going to him today even though I have to bite the bullet and let him put needles onto my ears where 10 times of loud "ouch" sounds could clearly heard by the other patients sitting outside the treatment room.

Why worthy? ............ because I got the chance to meet the sun this morning too! Yes!

Another beautiful day and another well done day!

Cheers to me! :)

 Treatment for my painful arm last week.
I couldn't take a photo of today's treatment though. I should have done it cause I might look very cute with the needles on the ears and hear...like a cartoon.

Outside the clinic before treatment

8:30 a.m. in the morning, nearby the clinic.

Sunday night = movie night

I'm  really getting tired of advertisements that cut off in between a program or a film, especially on a Sunday when I just want being lazy in my sofa and watch films after films but don't want to listen to some annoying voices and music that pop out in between.  Last Wednesday I decided to took a swing into a local library to borrow some films for today. These two was chosen and warm recommended.

The Swedish film CALL GIRL which has won four Guldbagge Awards.was among many films at the shelf. It's a political and emotional thriller with nerve and socially conscious.

I read about this film in 2012 bur never got a chance to watch it at cinema. So with no doubt I took it home. What a powerful film! I was still holding on my breathe even after the film was finished. I got stuck at the third last scene.

I have translated the introduction about this film (was wrtten on the back of the cover) as follows:

"It is election year in 1976. Female emancipation and sexual revolution goes hand in hand with neutrality, nuclear and security for all. In Stockholm, kindergartens are located next door to posing studios and sex clubs which get customers from the nearby government offices. Young Iris was recruited as "Call Girl" from a reformatory, and instantly sucked up from the bottom of society, past by the discos and elite chandeliers, climbed up to serve the country's top politicians. When the utopian image of Sweden threatened,  the land's powerful men stepped in in order to maintain that image."

Now go to my second choice of film.The reason I have chosen "The Other Woman" because I am a fan of Natalie Portman now after watching her in "The Black Swan". She doesn't disappoint me though and is magnificent in this film too. This film is irresistibly sentimental and I love all the songs and music in this film. Don't miss them out while you are tearing...

Moonlight

The moon suddenly came out to say hello tonight when we stepped out from our restaurant at 2 a.m, on Fiday night after closing time. It was a little bit spooky like. That was a moment I was afraid I might turn into a werewolf.

The moon followed me and hubby all the way to our parking place before it disappeared behind the dark thick clouds again. I didn't know if it was faithed that I got the chance to see her for that short 10 minutes.
That night hubby parked his car at a new place which we had never parked before for the past 25 years. (He normally don't park his car at a place where he has to take 10 minutes to walk back to our restaurant.)

I love this one! It might look too dark but I just simply love the way it looks..

Cooking

Cooking, is not my strongest strength even though I am enjoying cooking. Why I don't think I'm  good in that?

Well, I'm married to a chef who is good at his field. He is the one who cooks for our restaurant guests and our visitors whenever I have invited friends home. Cooking is not really his passion but he loves to cook for people rather for himself. By looking at people enjoying his food would be the most satisfactory moment for him. So, through out the years, whether it's at the restaurant or home, I don't really have the chance to cook for our guests, plus I don't really have the confidence in cooking for the others (except my girls).

I need to share a conversation that occurred between my mom and my chef  before we got married, in which he loves to share it with others every time people ask him questions like: "Does you wife cook?", "So, who cooks at home?" He will never answer, "Oh yes, my wife can cook,", or "Yes she cooks for the children at home", instead of these answers I always hope him would give to these people, he will laugh it out loud and then starts his line, "Ha ha, talking about Doris cooking, let me tell you about that about what her mom said about her."

The following is the joke about "Doris doesn't know how to cook" which he enjoys telling people time after time.

"Before Doris and I got married, one day my mother-in-law called me in and wanted to talk to me in private. I was wondering what happened? Have I done something wrong? Carefully, seriously in almost a whispering voice, she said, "just that you know, my Ah Ping ( my Chinese's name) does not how to cook!". I was relieved and answered her, "Hahaha, Aiya, no worrylah, mom, I will teach her!"

Before I continuing to tell you about his promise,  I need to tell you about my mom's concern about that "Ah Ping has no-cooking-experience"thing. My mom was a traditional Chinese woman who thought that it was very important for a wife to know how to feed the husband's stomach. The problem was she never really taught me how to cook when I was young. She would rather get me out from the kitchen than letting me helping her out. So, indirectly she was the reason why I didn't know how to cook. Well, now you know why she was worrying.

Let's come back to today. Did my hubby keep his promise to his mother-in-law? Not really. 

After 25 years of marriage, I still does not know how to cook his yummy satay sauce, rendang, chaw kuih teow, char siew, crispy pork, apung balik and many more. He is not very good in teaching people to cook his dishes. He has all his ingredients in his mind and never write them down, he likes to prepare or cook in the middle of the night when he is alone. His best curry or marinating which turn up to be the best out of his best is when his cooking magic show is performed at night without audience. So, I have became very good in eating his food rather than cooking his recipe. 

Truly I do enjoy his food very much, just like our girls, guests and friends. I appreciate his effort in pleasing me with his cooking, especially after a big fight or a few days of "cold war". His best way of saying sorry will be a question like this, "What do you want to eat, I will cook for you." 

Many people admire me I have a private chef at home. Actually he doesn't cook much at home. We always eat left-over from the restaurant ever since my girls were a little girl. People say me and my girls are lucky that having restaurant food every day. In the matter of fact, because of that, I started cooking simple and easy-to-cook food at home for me and the girls. My girls are my best customers and supporters who I am grateful to because they enjoy my cooking even though my food are not as delicious as their father's.

Gradually I have found my touch and confidence in my cooking which is always based on simplicity. I still don't have much confidence in testing a lot of difference spices and ingredients. I still don't feel that I am very good in cooking, but the most important thing is I have found a passion in cooking which gave me a lot of enjoyment! Furthermore, cooking has become one of my soul therapies.

I have found some old photos. I will share the recipe at www.wokandoven.blogspot.com when I have time to update or taking detailed photos.

 Christmas meatball.
(The sausage were from the store though. One day I will learn how to make sausages.)

Red cabbage pie with hem

Coconut tarts

Wantan soup

Broccoli with shitaki

Spagetti with leftover saiussage

Steamed buns with char siew

Dumpling with chives and dried prawns

Salmon with macaroni and squash

Christmas Cinnamon cookie 

Fried vegetable with chicken

Noodle salad 

Noodle soup

steamed codfish

Just a cake :)

Pasta with spinach and sausage 

I am back

I have not visited my own place for the past 10 months and I am not very proud of this. I couldn't explain why I didn't do that. Time just slipped away. The only explanation I can give is I got a part time job in April and since suddenly time was not enough at all, and shame on me that I didn't make an effect to make a time or a routine to update here. After finding out I have over 10000 views last week, I made a promise to myself. I have to write again!

So, now I am back!

Start with today's little escape to the forest to clear my mind and charged my energy for another new day!

Autumn is here and it¨s the season where mixture of feeling is kind of bothering me. Mood swinging is quite strong. So, I need some kind of therapy to tame myself.  Today, Sunday, the only off day I have, being so tiring and having no strength to do anything at all, I had decided to stay home and watch TV for the day. Then, the sun came and said hello at 3 p.m.! Not having a second thought, I switched off the TV,  quickly took out Canon and the battery for charging, and then turned my pyjamas into jogging suit, (I tried to have the speed as fast as the superman changing his outfit), off  I went to Botaniska Garden. I have not been using my Canon since March after visiting Julie in New Market.. It's about time for Canon and I to be charged! Another best part of today's move was I managed to get my old man to follow me!

I guess you will figure it out how I feel after this short visit at Botaniska today by throwing myself into the farm of the Mother Nature.

Left over from the summer!