Last year at this time I was lonely and lost my soul in Malaysia. I was mourning for the lost of my beloved mother. I was angry about a lot of things. I was angry about myself why I didn't work hardly to get mom move to Sweden to stay with my family. I was angry my lonely mom couldn't stay longer , didn't give me more chance to let me take care of her. I was angry my husband and my daughters couldn't make it to mom's funeral. I was angry about my marriage, I was angry about my useless, I was lost in many ways...
Now I am looking at myself, one year after, how am I doing?
I put on 2kgs weights again after the hard work of diet 8 months ago, but I still can fit into some sexy dresses.
I am not on vegetable diet anymore but still try eat more vegetables than meat.
I am a mother with two adult daughters and I don't feel I am a mother anymore.
I go back to school and studying some courses which won't give me high chance of job opportunities.
I am getting better in my singing, but not making a career, just as a hobby and for my karaoke job.
I am glad and excited that Anna, the freelance reporter, wanted to make a short short documentary about me. Donno if the documentary will be done next year or not, but I am grateful for her thoughts.
I have made some new friends in school and have picked up a drinking habit - coffee, don't know if it's good or bad but don't care.
At this moment...
I am glad that despite that extra 2kgs, despite the extra fat layers around the waist and the bums, I am still looking good and sexy at the age of 44.
I am glad I have food on the tables and in the fridge.
I am glad I have warm clothes to wear in this blowing and chilling weather.
I am glad I have a apartment for the Xmas decorations.
I am glad Julie came home for Xmas. I am glad Mabel is doing fine in London (although I miss her so very much!).
I am glad I have a husband who helps me to do the dishes everyday even though he doesn't give me sex everyday.
I am glad I have electricity at home and have access to the internet to update my blog while there are many household in Sweden are out of electricity since the Xmas's Eve.
I am glad I have friends to visit in the Xmas.
I am glad I could listen to my favorite music and watch a film whenever I want..
I am glad at this moment cause I have found ways to stop the anger and frustration that bugging inside me. (I am glad Julie has played an angel roll in this process).
LIFE IS GOOD and I appreciate it every moment from now! Wishing my family, all my friends and relatives and myself - Happy New Year!
Taken on the 26th December 2o11, at 4a.m.
