I want dessert!

So I have taken down all the Christmas decorations and slowly put up my Chinese New Year's decoration...during the process I was sooo keen for a slice of cake and I need to bake! Well, the grieving came when I cleared the Christmas tablecloth and saw the overripe bananas on the dining table. So, I got a very good excuse - in order not to waste the bananas, I should start with a baking by  using up them, right?

Pity I don't have any visitors today and my girls are not coming home either to share it with me. I guess I will have to share it with my neighbours instead.

Doris banana cake is done and ready to be served.Yes!

100g butter
1,5dl sugar
2 egg
4 dl flour
1 and 1/2 tea spoon baking powder
1 tea spoon ginger powder
2 tea spoon cinnamon powder
3 overripe bananas
1/2 dl cold black coffee

Belated Christmas Greeting from Malaysia

This beautiful Christmas Greeting warmed my heart and cheered up my day when it slipped through the door this morning. It's from my cute niece Chlóe! Such a well-made pop-up card with Chlóe's beautiful handwriting. Thanks Chlóe! Qing Ping Yi Yi loves it very much and definitely will put it up as one of my favourite decorations on every Christmas season that comes. Love you too! Chlóe. Many hugs to you and your Ah Ma and your mommy.

Oh I forgot to mention thanks for the mini size of Malaysian calender too! :)How thoughtful of you, Lisa and Ah Kim. My mum always saved one for me at the old time just in case I went home for Chinese New Year celebration.

It's on the door of my refrigeration already :)

Chinese New Year soon!!

I am back to normal me today. Dreamt of mum last night.. she reminded me to put up the Chinese New Year's decoration. Already? I asked her.

We just managed to send Santa back to his workshop to prepare for next year's Xmas, and the Chinese Snake Year is approaching soon. That's fast! I guess mum couldn't wait to see all her ornaments up in my apartment.

I took home mum's traditional Chinese decoration flowers and ornaments. So today's home project is to take down all the Christmas stuff and replace them with Chinese New Year's bling bling. The Swedes will only take down all the Christmas decorations on the 6th of January but since mum has given me the hink in my dream last night, so why not get it done? Julie could have the chance to see it also before she goes back to Buxton. Who know if she will be back for Chinese New Year or Christmas next year.

Listening to Sade lovers rock CD now ,which Xiao Tzee left at my old house in Malaysia. Thanks Tzee! I brought back many of your good CD collections.

So, keyboard off now and get start with the little project! 

The first day of 2013

Well, after having my annually roller coaster emotional break out yesterday, I would calm down today. Was last night firework beautiful? I didn't get the chance to see, only watched them from TV today.

The apartment is in its stillness, as always on the first day of every year. Where are my daughters? They are always somewhere else on the 1st of January because they had celebrated their New Year Eve with their good friends.

I don't have any special wow feeling about today. 1st of January is never something special to me. It's just another ordinary day for me and I am grateful that I could have wake up today at late afternoon and just in time to see the sun shone through the shutters before it went back to sleep.

I got no special New Year Eve leftover food or desserts to eat for branch cause I didn't cook and make one cause there were not needed yesterday. I did have a slice of leftover kebab pizza from two days ago. It's good for branch anyway.

Making any promises or any plan for this year? I am not going to do that any more. What comes around goes around. I will take one day at a time. Why hurry? I am free now after all.

The girls kind of gradually alienate me nowadays and I am trying hard to tell myself not to have hard feeling over this. I know it's hard for them to have a mum who is young and naive, whom they think it's not knowable and good enough in giving them any advice any more. They didn't call and wish me and their father Happy New Year.

What am I going to do this year? Don't know really.. I have far too many things wondering in my head right now. So, I am just going to calm down my mind after last night's break out.

 I will be fine. I know because I dare to talk it out loud now and deal with it, and drop it fast too. First step in this first day of the year.

The last day of year 2012

This year I have to be honest to myself and say it out loud - I am never happy on the New Year Eve since I married and got children. In the matter of fact, today I always feel miserable, the last day of a year. 

New Year Eve... What is New Year Eve celebration to me? I don't really know cause I don't really have one since I have a family of my own.

I know there are many people who are having misfortune and miserable in their life, who have 1000000 times worse than mine right now, especially on this day, I do feel sorry for them. 

But today, I just want to be true to myself and really say it: " I AM NOT HAPPY ON EVERY NEW YEAR EVE!"

It's my own fault really cause I am married to a guy who doesn't like holiday celebration.

It's my fault I don't voice out and swallow the sadness in me every year.

What do people normally do in the New Year Eve? From the movie, from what other have told me, New Year Eve's celebration's scene should look like following, right?

1. A few good friends get together , having a good meal and good chat over a few glasses of wine or coca cola or tea and coffee, and then cheers to the count down time and wishing everybody happy new year. - never in my life time.

2. Go for a nice short trip as a couple, just enjoy a simple night out at a restaurant, nothing fancy, then  cheers with other guests and wishing each other at the countdown. - never in my life time.

3. Just sitting at home with the family and watching the fire work from the window and hugs each other and kiss each other at count down time - never done.

There are still many simple celebration pictures in my head and I couldn't think of anyone which I could place myself into.

I feel sorry and miserable that we had to leave the girls to someone else when they were kids, were young so that we can work in the restaurant on every new year eve. So in result, when they grew older and now they are adult, they never have to plan any celebration with me and their dad. If we even do it together, I guess it would be a shock for them. 

So, if I could have a few last wishes in my life time, I wish that I would have a chance to really celebrate A New Year Eve with my good friends, my girls, or go somewhere else instead of preparing the count down party for my guests, then when they go out to watch the firework and cheering to each other while I am cleaning up the dinning tables, cleaning up the wash room at 12.a.m of every last day of the past years. 

Christmas Mood

When my girls were small, we lived in a very small place until year 2006. We never had any Christmas tree in our home because we didn't have any extra place in the living room which happened to be our bedroom too.

Even though we are not Christian, but to celebrate Christmas has become our tradition in Sweden. We always celebrated our Christmas at our beloved neighbour - Mona and Stig's house on Christmas Eve. We had Mona's Christmas lunch at their house, sharing the joy with them and my girls would receive presents from them and their daughter, Annica too. All the Christmas stuff and hand-crafts which Mabel and Julie had made in school ended up being hanged on Mona's Christmas tree instead.

So, when we moved into this apartment in October 2006, we said we must have our own first Christmas tree that year, and we did! Due to my allergy problem, I dared not buy the fresh one, so we bought the plastic tree, which could last longer..and could be used every year :).

We did had a Christmas tree for two years - 2006 and 2007. Year 2008 I was back in Malaysia to take care of my mum, and that was the first time I was not with my family during the Christmas time..and they didn't put the tree up either..Year 2009 Per came and stayed with us during the Christmas time and due to the limited place in the living room, the tree was not up either.

Year 2010 was a sad Christmas because my mum passed away on the 9th of December. I was along in Malaysia and again our plastic tree spent its Christmas in the cold basement for another year. Last year, 2011, Mabel was in London and Julie was in Buxton. Although Julie came back for Christmas but without Mabel, we didn't feel the real Christmas spirit in the air and the poor tree didn't get the chance to be dressed up for the season either.

Finally, this year, this Christmas, this month, the plastic tree got the chance to come out from the basement and got dressed with the lights and shines in the living room again, and so are all the other Christmas stuff. I hope mum and dad could feel my Christmas mood and be happy for me! I miss them much sometimes but I am not sad any more.

Now.. waiting for Julie's home return patiently for another three days, then family movie night and all the friends' gathering with food and laughter in the coming weeks.

Merry Christmas to me and to all of you! Hugs

Getting ready for dress-up!

Never too much bling-bling

 I forgot which boyfriend gave me this bear,  I took it home from Malaysia recently..A perfect deco to my tree

Luckily I save this piece of work from Mabel. I have to ask her  when did she made it.

A handmade gift from Jean, my dear English friend.

One of my favourite, the bling-bling dragonfly!

Julie's friend gave her this.

An extra one at the balcony. This was used last year so I cannot abandon it.

One of my old favourite Xmas cards from Mona

On the table in the living room

At the entrance - Mabel made that big heart.

My hall way - Mabel made that red Santa in school when she was very small.

 Christmas presents from their uncle John to my girls when they were children.

A new addition this year. I bought this at the second hand market.

With the small  cosy lights

With the blink blink colourful light bolls 

Handmade cards are beautiful!

My kitchen

28-07-2012 and 29-07-2012

Day 6  Saturday 28.07.2012

Helen came to Sunny's house to bring me for breakfast, and then we went to her place for durian. Sad to  know about her mum's situation hope that her mother will recover very soon.

Still couldn't sleep tied at night... Jiu Mu's (Sunny's mother) sleepless night influenced me.  I am also very worried about her health condition.

Day 7  Sunday  29.07.2012

Went for lunch with Lisa's family and Johnny's family. I found out that the past 14 months they didn't met up at all. I am glad because of me everyone find their time to get together.
I was really happy now we all have times to be together and having fun with the chitchat and laughing!
Johnny brought us to a restaurant for roasted duck, which is owned by his friend.
Johnny's treat! Thanks Johnny :)

At night I have Mary took care of my dinner. She is really very good in what she is doing. I really admire her abilities and her success in her business.  I hope she takes good care of her health though....