我怀念的故乡

最近突然又想过回学生生活，所以就去哥德堡大学报名修一个冷门的课。其实很多瑞典的年青人都在哥德堡大学学习初级和中级的中文或汉学，可是到了最高班时总是剩下小猫两三只，最主要的是 advance lever读的是中国历史文学，很多学生就会失去兴趣了。 我报名修读这个课程，是想乘机练习中文，同时也练习和学习瑞典文。因为大多数的作业是要把中文翻译去瑞典文的。整个课程是由两位瑞典汉学教授，用80%瑞典文和20%中文来讲课的。

不好意思，好像有点离题 了， 其实没有。教授上个星期要我们用1000个字，手写一篇有关一个我们喜欢的地方或家乡的文章。我第一个念头就是想写槟城。以下是我已写好的稿，明天会把它抄到四方格的纸上。现在先让你们过目，看看我有没有写错，如有别忘了告诉我哦！

"我出身在马来西亚半岛的西北部一个山明水秀的小岛。小岛的首府乔治市是马来西亚的第二大城市，也是最多华人居住的城市。这个我怀念的故乡就是在世界上有点小名气的旅游胜地 - 槟城，也被称为称槟榔屿，因为很久以前这岛上种满了许多槟榔树。

槟城在15世纪时已经和中国通航，这个有历史根据的航行被纪录在一部中国舟师使用的海道针经《顺风相送》里。后来在17世纪马来西亚被英国占领了，而槟城在那时成为了一个重要的海峡殖民地港口和一个商業活動中心，这些有历史性的记载和演变给槟城留下了丰富的文化遗产和古迹。做为一个重要的贸易港口，当时的槟城提供了就业和做生意的机会，让槟城也成了早期中国人移居的地方。乔治市在2008年荣誉地被联合国教科文组织列为世界文化遗产地。

近年来槟城在一些著名的生活旅游网站和杂志中，被评选为“亚洲10大最佳小吃城市”之一、世界第四大退休后最适合居住城市，以及“在全球40大最佳旅游景点”的排名中獲得第八名。可见得在槟城已世界旅游业上获得了一个被肯定的地位。

槟城还有个吸引游客并让流连或居住在外国的槟城人怀念的特点，就是它应有尽有的丰富的美食文化！在英国之前马来西亚也曾被荷蘭和葡萄牙统治过，再加上以前槟城是个重要的海峡殖民地港口，在货物交换和贸易的流程中，来自不同国家的人同时也留下了其他的文化，其中就是他们的美食文化，这些美食的烹饪传统方法世代相传下来，让槟城的美食文化融合了中国、荷蘭、葡萄牙、马来土著、印度等多元化的特色，所以2014年槟城被《孤独星球》杂志中评选为全球美食城的冠军确是实至名归。

好奇的瑞典人常问我一个问题，既然槟城那么好，为什么我不搬回去而留在哥德堡这个小城市。我自己有时也会自问为什么，而且还一住就住了二十五年呢?

最主要的原因是我父母亲都不在了，在槟城除了亲戚朋友我没有其他社交的联络网，而且在瑞典落脚了那么多年，我已和槟城脱了节。再加上我每次回去所看到的槟城都离我童年记忆里的印象越来越远，而且槟城近十年来的迅速发展，到处建了高楼大厦购物中心，造成人口周密交通阻塞，空气污染指数恶化，有时达到不健康的水平，这些种种问题让我打消了搬回乡的念头。

如果你是爱好文化的旅游美食家，那我还是会推荐你到槟城游览一趟。如果你想把槟城全部的美食都一一尝尽，那么就在这小岛呆上一个星期吧。除了享受美食，别忘了也要同时享受槟城的热带海边风情和游览历史古迹。

边走边看边吃是在槟城享受假期的最好方式，也是我每次回去家乡渡假时最爱做的事！"

我在电脑中找到一些旧照片，在此回味一下，解解思乡之愁。。有很多和亲戚朋友一起拍的照片，没经他们的同意，不敢放上来，只能在这里跟他们说，除了想念槟城，我更挂念他们。

我妈的宝贝之一，阿红

妈妈当年的拿手家常便饭

我的母校 槟华女子中学

我的好友昌铭带我到大山脚吃的潮州粥

除了这张照片我不必问,顺风不会介意的，因为他太可爱了，所以要把它放上来。

韩国料理。。

昌铭带我去吃的泰国甜品，不是槟城道地的，但是是我想念的

我想念的琪琪，那年她才五岁吧。还有另外三个小宝贝，没有他们戴太阳眼镜的照片，没问过父母，不敢放上来。

我的老家

Is Spring going to stay?

2015-03-10

It seemed that spring has arrived earlier this year than we expected. I don't have problem with that, and I guess so did many others who sat on the dock of the bay or sat in their balcony, or just simply found a spot to sit down as long as they could be charged with vitamin-D from the sun yesterday.

I met a very intresting Chinese man from China yesterday.  He is so different from other Chinese men I met before. I hope he will come back to Sweden again with his family for a longer stay, or perhaps he could find a chance to move to Sweden. He will fit in here.

Is spring going to stay? We never know because we can never trust the weather in Gothenburg.  It is too early to say, after all ii's only March. The temperature is still between 2c to 7c, and it was super windy. Well, I don't care about the wind. I will only take the action as the others do,
WHEN THE SUN IS OUT, I AM OUT!

The Lipstick Tower

Viking boat near the Gothenburg Opera house

The Gothenburg Opera Hall

Winter is here to stay

We have been so lucky with the weather last year 2014 with really fantastic warm summer temperature and a "lagom" (moderate) warm autumn and early winter.

Now February which is normally the coldest month, is still pretty warm (around 0 to 4c) but I miss snow though. Winter without snow is like summer without sun, you know what I mean right?

Winter without snow is boring. I don't want to dress up as an Eskimo for nothing. That was why when I woke up last week on Friday, immediately my body was charged with some positive energy when I looked outside the window.
I was dancing like a little girl when I walked out from my apartment. I didn't have time to take photos at the entrance but I took a few quick shots while hubby was driving me to work. I really wished I could have the chance to visit a forest or a country side that day. I was that close to call my boss I want to take a day off, even though that day was my last working day. I should be feeling sad but the snow came into the rescue of my sad day.

I managed to store some great shots in my mobile picture gallery anyway. These are some of the photos that gave me joy that Friday.

A quick snap when I  looked outside from my bedroom that morning

A quick snap from the car, on my way to work. Moring sun at 9.45 a.m.

after three minutes.... at 9.48a.m.

Love love love this one! When I reached home at 3p.m. outside my apartment. Perfect lighting for catching this moment.

我 Ok, 你 OK 吗?

新的一年，新的感慨，有好多话要说却又不知从何说起。

今夜在恍惚的心情下，读到这段文章，让我感触不胜。在此和你们一起互相勉励。 加油！

过去我们有太多无法解决的烂账。也不知道受伤了几回。

我想，你或许要和过去那个受伤的自己说说话。

和过去的自己说：“你过去受伤的负面情绪是我来负责的。不是现在的他们来负责。”

和愤怒的自己说：“你不用对过去讨爱而讨不到的惨痛经验，而把全部烂账现在全都丢在这张饭桌上。你不用如此做的。你真的不需要这样的。”

和那个时候的自己说：“你会伤心、孤单、生气来博取别人的看见、别人的支持；那是过去我们生存的方式。我现在不要用过去的方式。我可以有更好的方式去面对。你来听我的，请你来听我的。”

和自己说：“不管怎样，你 OK 的。你比你自己想象中更有爱。你 OK 的。即使你不 OK，在我心里，你都是 OK的。”

和自己说：“那些讨爱失败的烂账记忆，我们可以和它们说再见了。”

和自己说：“他不是我的妈妈（爸爸），这世上，是的，我的妈妈（爸爸）的的确确遗弃我，可是不是他。他并没有说要遗弃我。是我内心对妈妈（爸爸）的愤怒、对妈妈（爸爸）的焦虑，全部都投了给他，而导致我如此没有安全感。对他、对我，都是不公平的。我们可以有更好的出路的。请你相信我。相信我。”

和自己说：“我确定要认回那个曾经做过乞丐而讨爱失败的你，我把你认回来。我要与你同行。我一定会与你同行。”

就和自己说说话。 你带着慈悲的心和自己说说话，那个过去的自己很愿意听的。

别被过去的烂账而牵绊着你那值得拥有美好的生命。我们都可以从烂账里解脱的，只要你多愿意和那个过去受伤的自己说说话。 也愿意去听过去的自己说说话。你发现这世上最美好的事情之一就是：和自己相爱。

祝福各位。祝福自己。
Peace within, Peace between, Peace among.

以量

November - December

November - December  is a period where my mood is on a roller coaster. I can blame the dull weather, the flu, the stress, hubby's rudeness or sleepless nights that switch on the"start" button of the roller coaster machine.

In the matter of fact, non of the above mentioned reason was the right one to be blamed on. I have to admit the mood swinging is because I miss my father and mother very much. They passed away in between these two months.

That's why I have started collecting positive energies as much as possible to fill my mood with the right element - HAPPINESS, so that I would not drown in mood ripples.

I started with a good mind exercise last week - Think about something or someone that make me really happy everyday. It works amazingly well which bring me into a zen zone with peaceful mind and happy soul.

Thanks to my parents who has brought me up with love.
They gave me freedom to make my decision to choose my own path.
I thank them for not stopping me to come to Sweden even though deep down in their hearts, I knew they didn't want to let me go 26 years ago.
Dad never made any commend about me moving to Sweden.
Mom said "You have chosen your own path and happiness, we don't want to be the one who come in between your decision. You have to take the consequence yourself when things do not go well, but you have our love and blessing."

I wish they had visited Sweden to understand why I have chosen to stay here for good.

Yesterday I visited Önnered nearby my area. Just wanted to be charged with some positive energy from the nature and of course chasing after the sunset at the same time. Although it was 3c but I couldn't feel the chill. I felt warm from head to toes. I found a spiritual balance when I stood in front of the views. Speechless.. breathless.. I was hoping my parents spiritually followed me there yesterday to enjoy the amazing moment with me. I was very happy yesterday....and today too!

Gratefulness

A friend shared this on her Facebook that touched my heart deeply. My inner light has been rekindled of so many good people for the past 47 years, deepest gratefulness to these people:

my adoptive parents, my children, my husband, my relatives, my friends, my supportive guests and fans..and people I meet daily who have been very kind to me every day. <3 br="">

史懷哲（Albert Schweitzer）

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.

"有時候，我們的光會熄滅，但是在遇上某個人後，就會再次點燃，生出火焰。我們要深深感謝那些重新點燃我們內在之光的人。"

Acupuncture

I have been to several times of acupuncture treatments since October. Today was the eighth time and it was my first tinnitus treatment. My physiotherapist asked me how long time has tinnitus been bothering me. At least 10 years I answered. He told me it will take longer time and many times of acupuncture treatment. I told him bring it on. I am not scared of the pain as long as the treatments help to heal me. I am really for the long journey.

I went to the Otolaryngology in 2008, seeking for help and answer. After I had filled out a questionnaire with 30 questions about how I felt physically and then did some hearing tests, they diagnosed that I had deep depression symptoms and wrote me a few antidepressant prescriptions. I asked them was there any treatment than just taking medicine, They told me no other treatment and even make a joke of encouraging me to maybe consider change my job and move to a quiet environment.

Did I take the medicine? I am very proud of myself to say it out loud here: " NO I have never taken out any medicine from those prescriptions." I deal with the problem through out these years in my own ways - yoga, dancing, photographing, singing. Do these methods help to heal my tinnitus? No, they don't. The buzzing sound accompany me 24-7 at different volume level. Sometimes it's really too loud until I wake up in the middle of the night.

I found out three weeks ago my physiotherapist also knows how to treat tinnitus with acupuncture so I asked him to start the mission of killing the "buzzing bees" that is "flying" inside my ears today.

It was total worth going to him today even though I have to bite the bullet and let him put needles onto my ears where 10 times of loud "ouch" sounds could clearly heard by the other patients sitting outside the treatment room.

Why worthy? ............ because I got the chance to meet the sun this morning too! Yes!

Another beautiful day and another well done day!

Cheers to me! :)

 Treatment for my painful arm last week.
I couldn't take a photo of today's treatment though. I should have done it cause I might look very cute with the needles on the ears and hear...like a cartoon.

Outside the clinic before treatment

8:30 a.m. in the morning, nearby the clinic.