Is Spring going to stay?

2015-03-10

It seemed that spring has arrived earlier this year than we expected. I don't have problem with that, and I guess so did many others who sat on the dock of the bay or sat in their balcony, or just simply found a spot to sit down as long as they could be charged with vitamin-D from the sun yesterday.

I met a very intresting Chinese man from China yesterday.  He is so different from other Chinese men I met before. I hope he will come back to Sweden again with his family for a longer stay, or perhaps he could find a chance to move to Sweden. He will fit in here.

Is spring going to stay? We never know because we can never trust the weather in Gothenburg.  It is too early to say, after all ii's only March. The temperature is still between 2c to 7c, and it was super windy. Well, I don't care about the wind. I will only take the action as the others do,
WHEN THE SUN IS OUT, I AM OUT!

The Lipstick Tower

Viking boat near the Gothenburg Opera house

The Gothenburg Opera Hall

Winter is here to stay

We have been so lucky with the weather last year 2014 with really fantastic warm summer temperature and a "lagom" (moderate) warm autumn and early winter.

Now February which is normally the coldest month, is still pretty warm (around 0 to 4c) but I miss snow though. Winter without snow is like summer without sun, you know what I mean right?

Winter without snow is boring. I don't want to dress up as an Eskimo for nothing. That was why when I woke up last week on Friday, immediately my body was charged with some positive energy when I looked outside the window.
I was dancing like a little girl when I walked out from my apartment. I didn't have time to take photos at the entrance but I took a few quick shots while hubby was driving me to work. I really wished I could have the chance to visit a forest or a country side that day. I was that close to call my boss I want to take a day off, even though that day was my last working day. I should be feeling sad but the snow came into the rescue of my sad day.

I managed to store some great shots in my mobile picture gallery anyway. These are some of the photos that gave me joy that Friday.

A quick snap when I  looked outside from my bedroom that morning

A quick snap from the car, on my way to work. Moring sun at 9.45 a.m.

after three minutes.... at 9.48a.m.

Love love love this one! When I reached home at 3p.m. outside my apartment. Perfect lighting for catching this moment.

我 Ok, 你 OK 吗?

新的一年，新的感慨，有好多话要说却又不知从何说起。

今夜在恍惚的心情下，读到这段文章，让我感触不胜。在此和你们一起互相勉励。 加油！

过去我们有太多无法解决的烂账。也不知道受伤了几回。

我想，你或许要和过去那个受伤的自己说说话。

和过去的自己说：“你过去受伤的负面情绪是我来负责的。不是现在的他们来负责。”

和愤怒的自己说：“你不用对过去讨爱而讨不到的惨痛经验，而把全部烂账现在全都丢在这张饭桌上。你不用如此做的。你真的不需要这样的。”

和那个时候的自己说：“你会伤心、孤单、生气来博取别人的看见、别人的支持；那是过去我们生存的方式。我现在不要用过去的方式。我可以有更好的方式去面对。你来听我的，请你来听我的。”

和自己说：“不管怎样，你 OK 的。你比你自己想象中更有爱。你 OK 的。即使你不 OK，在我心里，你都是 OK的。”

和自己说：“那些讨爱失败的烂账记忆，我们可以和它们说再见了。”

和自己说：“他不是我的妈妈（爸爸），这世上，是的，我的妈妈（爸爸）的的确确遗弃我，可是不是他。他并没有说要遗弃我。是我内心对妈妈（爸爸）的愤怒、对妈妈（爸爸）的焦虑，全部都投了给他，而导致我如此没有安全感。对他、对我，都是不公平的。我们可以有更好的出路的。请你相信我。相信我。”

和自己说：“我确定要认回那个曾经做过乞丐而讨爱失败的你，我把你认回来。我要与你同行。我一定会与你同行。”

就和自己说说话。 你带着慈悲的心和自己说说话，那个过去的自己很愿意听的。

别被过去的烂账而牵绊着你那值得拥有美好的生命。我们都可以从烂账里解脱的，只要你多愿意和那个过去受伤的自己说说话。 也愿意去听过去的自己说说话。你发现这世上最美好的事情之一就是：和自己相爱。

祝福各位。祝福自己。
Peace within, Peace between, Peace among.

以量

November - December

November - December  is a period where my mood is on a roller coaster. I can blame the dull weather, the flu, the stress, hubby's rudeness or sleepless nights that switch on the"start" button of the roller coaster machine.

In the matter of fact, non of the above mentioned reason was the right one to be blamed on. I have to admit the mood swinging is because I miss my father and mother very much. They passed away in between these two months.

That's why I have started collecting positive energies as much as possible to fill my mood with the right element - HAPPINESS, so that I would not drown in mood ripples.

I started with a good mind exercise last week - Think about something or someone that make me really happy everyday. It works amazingly well which bring me into a zen zone with peaceful mind and happy soul.

Thanks to my parents who has brought me up with love.
They gave me freedom to make my decision to choose my own path.
I thank them for not stopping me to come to Sweden even though deep down in their hearts, I knew they didn't want to let me go 26 years ago.
Dad never made any commend about me moving to Sweden.
Mom said "You have chosen your own path and happiness, we don't want to be the one who come in between your decision. You have to take the consequence yourself when things do not go well, but you have our love and blessing."

I wish they had visited Sweden to understand why I have chosen to stay here for good.

Yesterday I visited Önnered nearby my area. Just wanted to be charged with some positive energy from the nature and of course chasing after the sunset at the same time. Although it was 3c but I couldn't feel the chill. I felt warm from head to toes. I found a spiritual balance when I stood in front of the views. Speechless.. breathless.. I was hoping my parents spiritually followed me there yesterday to enjoy the amazing moment with me. I was very happy yesterday....and today too!

Gratefulness

A friend shared this on her Facebook that touched my heart deeply. My inner light has been rekindled of so many good people for the past 47 years, deepest gratefulness to these people:

my adoptive parents, my children, my husband, my relatives, my friends, my supportive guests and fans..and people I meet daily who have been very kind to me every day. <3 br="">

史懷哲（Albert Schweitzer）

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown again into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.

"有時候，我們的光會熄滅，但是在遇上某個人後，就會再次點燃，生出火焰。我們要深深感謝那些重新點燃我們內在之光的人。"

Acupuncture

I have been to several times of acupuncture treatments since October. Today was the eighth time and it was my first tinnitus treatment. My physiotherapist asked me how long time has tinnitus been bothering me. At least 10 years I answered. He told me it will take longer time and many times of acupuncture treatment. I told him bring it on. I am not scared of the pain as long as the treatments help to heal me. I am really for the long journey.

I went to the Otolaryngology in 2008, seeking for help and answer. After I had filled out a questionnaire with 30 questions about how I felt physically and then did some hearing tests, they diagnosed that I had deep depression symptoms and wrote me a few antidepressant prescriptions. I asked them was there any treatment than just taking medicine, They told me no other treatment and even make a joke of encouraging me to maybe consider change my job and move to a quiet environment.

Did I take the medicine? I am very proud of myself to say it out loud here: " NO I have never taken out any medicine from those prescriptions." I deal with the problem through out these years in my own ways - yoga, dancing, photographing, singing. Do these methods help to heal my tinnitus? No, they don't. The buzzing sound accompany me 24-7 at different volume level. Sometimes it's really too loud until I wake up in the middle of the night.

I found out three weeks ago my physiotherapist also knows how to treat tinnitus with acupuncture so I asked him to start the mission of killing the "buzzing bees" that is "flying" inside my ears today.

It was total worth going to him today even though I have to bite the bullet and let him put needles onto my ears where 10 times of loud "ouch" sounds could clearly heard by the other patients sitting outside the treatment room.

Why worthy? ............ because I got the chance to meet the sun this morning too! Yes!

Another beautiful day and another well done day!

Cheers to me! :)

 Treatment for my painful arm last week.
I couldn't take a photo of today's treatment though. I should have done it cause I might look very cute with the needles on the ears and hear...like a cartoon.

Outside the clinic before treatment

8:30 a.m. in the morning, nearby the clinic.

Sunday night = movie night

I'm  really getting tired of advertisements that cut off in between a program or a film, especially on a Sunday when I just want being lazy in my sofa and watch films after films but don't want to listen to some annoying voices and music that pop out in between.  Last Wednesday I decided to took a swing into a local library to borrow some films for today. These two was chosen and warm recommended.

The Swedish film CALL GIRL which has won four Guldbagge Awards.was among many films at the shelf. It's a political and emotional thriller with nerve and socially conscious.

I read about this film in 2012 bur never got a chance to watch it at cinema. So with no doubt I took it home. What a powerful film! I was still holding on my breathe even after the film was finished. I got stuck at the third last scene.

I have translated the introduction about this film (was wrtten on the back of the cover) as follows:

"It is election year in 1976. Female emancipation and sexual revolution goes hand in hand with neutrality, nuclear and security for all. In Stockholm, kindergartens are located next door to posing studios and sex clubs which get customers from the nearby government offices. Young Iris was recruited as "Call Girl" from a reformatory, and instantly sucked up from the bottom of society, past by the discos and elite chandeliers, climbed up to serve the country's top politicians. When the utopian image of Sweden threatened,  the land's powerful men stepped in in order to maintain that image."

Now go to my second choice of film.The reason I have chosen "The Other Woman" because I am a fan of Natalie Portman now after watching her in "The Black Swan". She doesn't disappoint me though and is magnificent in this film too. This film is irresistibly sentimental and I love all the songs and music in this film. Don't miss them out while you are tearing...